Helping Your Anxious Preschooler: 7 Gentle OT-Approved Strategies

Discover 7 gentle, relationship-based ways to support your anxious preschooler from an experienced occupational therapist. Build confidence, connection, and calm at home and preschool.

It can be hard watching your little one struggle with worries that seem bigger than they are. Perhaps your preschooler clings tightly at drop-off, avoids group play, or becomes teary when things don’t go to plan.

You’re not alone - and neither are they. Anxiety in the early years is more common than many parents realise. The good news is, there’s so much we can do to help.

As an occupational therapist (OT), I’ve worked with many children who are bright, sensitive, and full of enthusiasm - but whose nervous systems are simply working overtime. Anxiety at this age isn’t about misbehaviour or stubbornness. It’s about safety and connection.

Here are some gentle, relationship-based ways to support your anxious preschooler.

1. Begin with Safety and Connection

Before learning or bravery can happen, your child’s body needs to feel safe.
That sense of safety comes through your voice, your presence, and your predictability. When you slow your own breathing, soften your tone, and get down on their level, your child’s nervous system begins to settle too.

You don’t need perfect words - just a calm, steady message:

“You’re safe. I’m here. We can do this together.”

Sometimes the best “therapy” moment happens in a quiet cuddle on the couch, or when you pause before rushing out the door.

2. Notice Their Signals, Not Just Their Words

Anxious children often show us their feelings through behaviour.
Maybe they say their tummy hurts before preschool, or suddenly need the “right” shoes to feel okay. Rather than seeing these as defiance or fussiness, try seeing them as communication - your child’s way of saying, “I need help feeling safe.”

When you respond with curiosity instead of correction, your child learns that their feelings make sense and can be understood. Over time, that builds emotional resilience.

3. Create Predictable Routines

Predictability is powerful. When children know what’s coming, their nervous systems can rest.
Simple visual schedules, songs for transitions (“Let’s pack our bag, pack, pack, pack!”), or even naming the steps out loud can help your child feel in control.

Keep things consistent where possible - especially around goodbyes, sleep, and morning routines. Consistency sends the message: The world is safe, and my grown-ups know what to expect.

4. Play is the Language of Regulation

Children process their big feelings through play, not through long adult conversations. Rough-and-tumble play, jumping, swinging, water play, or even building a cubby under the table all help the body discharge tension and return to calm.

Encourage movement, creativity, and sensory play every day. These experiences help anxious children feel grounded in their bodies and more open to the world around them.

5. Be the Calm in the Storm

It’s easy to be pulled into your child’s worry especially when you want to reassure them. But remember: anxiety spreads both ways. The more grounded you are, the more your child can borrow your calm.

It can help to take a deep breath, plant your feet, and respond with warmth but confidence:

“I know you’re feeling worried, and that makes sense. Let’s take a breath and do this step together.”

Your steadiness becomes the emotional anchor they can trust.

6. Celebrate Small Steps

Bravery grows in tiny moments like saying hello to a new friend, walking partway into preschool, or trying a new food.
Name those small successes with genuine pride, not pressure.

“I saw you walk into the room even though you felt nervous. That was brave.”

When children feel seen for their effort (not just the outcome), they start to internalise courage as part of who they are.

7. Seek Support When You Need It

Sometimes, a child’s anxiety feels like it’s taking over daily life. That’s a sign you deserve extra support. Occupational therapists, child psychologists, and early childhood educators can help you build practical strategies around regulation, routines, and emotional safety - without shame or blame.

Parenting an anxious preschooler isn’t about fixing your child. It’s about walking alongside them with patience, compassion, and the right tools.

A Final Thought

Your child doesn’t need to be “fearless” to thrive.
They need to know that their feelings make sense, that their body can find calm again, and that you’ll be beside them as they grow braver one small step at a time.

That’s what real resilience looks like.